


You Have to Mean It

by Aneiria



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Multi, Secret Relationship, Unhappy Ending, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:34:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24454516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aneiria/pseuds/Aneiria
Summary: Much later that evening, with Draco nestled naked between them, Theo looked over at Hermione. Draco was fast asleep, curled with his arms thrown around Hermione and his feet pressed against Theo’s shins. In sleep his worried frown had disappeared and he looked years younger. Hermione was still awake, and she smiled sadly and reached over to take Theo’s hand, resting them on Draco’s side. He murmured in his sleep and snuggled closer to Hermione.‘I hate seeing him like this,’ Theo admitted, and Hermione squeezed his hand in sympathy.‘Me too,’ she whispered. ‘I wish there was something we could do to help him.’‘I wish we could just keep him here. The three of us could just hideaway here, ride out the war and stay safe.’If Theo hadn’t chosen that moment to sigh and fall back onto the pillows, maybe there would have been a clue in Hermione’s eyes as to what she was really thinking. As it was, there was a pause before she replied.‘If only we could bring this stupid war to a quicker end somehow.’
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Theodore Nott, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy/Theodore Nott, Hermione Granger/Theodore Nott
Comments: 23
Kudos: 106
Collections: HP UnHappily Ever After Fest 2020





	You Have to Mean It

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Unhappily Ever After Fest 2020 - as expected, you will find no happy ending for our triad here :( 
> 
> My prompt was: "They are madly in love but she's not a purebred witch. What will the war bring?"
> 
> Please consider the tags for anything that may trigger or upset you. Also note that I have taken creative license with some of the spells in the HP universe so pleaase forgive any descriptions that may not match your expectations!
> 
> Huge thanks to [Grace Lou Freebush](https://archiveofourown.org/users/grace_lou_freebush/pseuds/grace_lou_freebush) for the beta and help with getting this over the finishing line <3

It was dark when Theo jolted awake, his heart racing. For a moment he lay there in the darkness, his breathing erratic, as he gradually became aware of the two warm bodies on either side of him and remembered where he was. The Room of Requirement. Their hidden refuge throughout sixth year so far. 

Hermione shifted in the crook of his arm, sleepily dropping a kiss on his bare chest as she snuggled up against him, never actually waking. From his other side, Draco wrapped his arms around Theo and nuzzled his hair as he hooked a leg over Theo’s thigh. 

‘Are you alright?’ Draco whispered. 

Draco had always been a light sleeper. He’d wake at the slightest sound, just as easily as Hermione could sleep through a storm, blissfully unaware of the crashing thunder and roiling lightning and driving rain outside.

Theo nodded, still feeling shaken. ‘Just a nightmare,’ he whispered back. He couldn’t even remember what it was about, now he tried to think about it, only that he had been terrified and so alone.

Draco kissed Theo’s neck and held him tighter. Safe and secure between the two people he loved most in the world, Theo closed his eyes and soon fell back asleep, nightmare temporarily forgotten. 

He wouldn’t remember it again until things had gotten really, really bad.

‘HONESTLY, GRANGER, HAVE you got a family of kneazles living in that hair of yours?’

Hermione hid a grin as she turned to face Draco. Harry and Ron hesitated behind her.

‘Shove off, Malfoy,’ Ron said, and Hermione threw him a stern look.

‘It’s okay Ron, Harry,’ she assured them. ‘No need for you two to be late for your Divination class. Off you go; I’ll deal with this.’

Ron and Harry exchanged a worried look but nodded in agreement. Hermione watched them go before turning back to Draco. She crossed her arms in an affectation of anger, but she let her mouth settle into a smile.

‘If I’m not mistaken, Malfoy, don’t you have a free period now? Surely you should be off studying somewhere, not aimlessly wandering the halls like a lost, little first-year.’

Malfoy took a threatening step forward, ignoring the scowls a pair of passing Hufflepuffs shot him. Hermione stood her ground.

‘Who said my wandering was aimless, Granger,’ he murmured, quiet enough that no-one passing would hear his words. ‘I know you have a free period too. Meet me and Theo in the Room of Requirement?’

Without waiting for an answer, he stormed past her and away.

Hermione let him get out of sight before she followed him more slowly. She reached the Room of Requirement, cast a quick look around her and walked up and down three times before opening the door.

Theo and Draco were already draped across each other on the big four-poster bed the room always gave to them. Theo’s face was nestled against Draco’s neck as Draco gently stroked his hair, their legs tangled together. They both looked up when the door closed, breaking into slow smiles.

Theo watched as Hermione kicked off her shoes, dropped her bag by the floor, and unhooked her robes, draping them over the armchair by the fireplace. Draco and Theo had already shuffled apart by the time she reached the bed, making room for her in between them. She crawled up onto the mattress and settled in the space they created with a happy sigh.

It certainly wasn’t something that Theo and Draco had planned, back in fifth year when they’d been happily dating, this wonderful relationship that no-one had ever expected. Hermione had resolutely ignored them for a long time before finally giving in one late study session in the library, later admitting that she’d had feelings for them for months. 

It wasn’t easy, of course. Hermione had wanted to go public straight away, to put an end to the silly feuding and fighting between their two houses. Theo and Draco had shared a dark look and convinced her not to. Probably wise, in the end. Neither he nor Hermione had been able to help Draco avoid the Dark Mark when it came to it.

Still, at least they were together now, even if they couldn’t be open about it.

‘Rough day, Granger?’ Draco asked with a smile, leaning in to kiss her gently as Theo nuzzled against her neck.

‘Not anymore,’ she said with a smile.

It was often like this, snatched moments together in the hidden corners of the castle. Theo looked forward to the day when school was finished, the Dark Lord defeated, and they could finally be honest with everyone.

But secretly Theo often worried that day would never come.

IT WOULD PROBABLY come as no surprise to anyone who knew him that Draco Malfoy would do anything to protect the ones he loved. But while most people that knew him well may have suspected Theo was one of those people, no-one would have even imagined that Hermione was another.

Of course Draco was worried.

The Dark Lord had risen him into his ranks, and Draco thanked his stars every day that his father had forced him to learn Occlumency from a young age. Theo might not be on the Dark Lord’s radar yet, but Nott Senior was a Death Eater so it wouldn’t be long. And Hermione was starting to work with the Order, so Draco had not wanted to take any risks. He had been adamant about teaching both of them Occlumency as well.

But there was still one more thing he’d had to do to feel a little bit more in control. 

Towards the end of term, when he knew he’d almost finished fixing that blasted Vanishing Cabinet, Draco waited until Hermione was safely away in Hogsmeade with Harry and Ron before seeking Theo out in the Slytherin common room.

‘Hogsmeade?’ Draco asked him easily, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. Theo looked up at him with the expression he always got in Arithmancy when a formula was just out of reach, but he didn’t question him.

‘Sure,’ Theo said instead, getting to his feet and summoning his coat. ‘Where to? Honeydukes? Hog’s Head?’

Draco didn’t reply, just led the way out of the common room, Theo close behind. They were careful not to touch each other, to do nothing that could suggest anything other than a casual friendship, even though Draco ached to grab hold of Theo’s hand and never let him go.

Once they left Hogwarts and neared Hogsmeade, Draco cast a quick Disillusionment spell on both of them and finally took Theo’s hand, leading him in a different direction.

‘What’s going on?’ Theo asked quietly, following Draco with the implicit trust he valued the most, as Draco led them towards the Shrieking Shack. Draco held onto Theo’s forearm and Disapparated them instead of answering.

They landed in a field outside a little cottage, but Draco knew Theo couldn’t see it yet. To his credit, Theo had taken the surprise side-along Apparition well, only stumbling a little on landing before Draco steadied him. Theo had always put his trust in Draco, even when Draco didn’t feel like he deserved it.

Theo looked at him now in confusion, and Draco leaned in and whispered an address, of sorts. Theo blinked his big, blue eyes as they focused on the building he could now see.

‘A safe house?’ he asked quietly, following Draco as he walked towards it.

‘I just want to be prepared,’ Draco replied, pushing the door open and letting Theo through.

Draco led Theo through the cottage, pointing out the pantry filled with non-perishable food, the small herb garden and potions lab, the well-stocked library, the upper floor with a giant bed and an ensuite bathroom. It was perfectly set up to be a self-sustaining, long-term haven for one certain Muggle-born.

Theo turned to Draco and arched his eyebrow.

‘How long have you been working on this?’

Draco shrugged. ‘A few months,’ he said evasively. He’d actually started it long before this year, when the Dark Lord had first returned, in fact. The cottage had been a bequeath from his late grandmother, and Draco had wanted somewhere safe away from the Manor.

‘And what’s the plan?’ Theo asked with a forced lightness to his voice. Draco sighed and led him to the bed, sitting them down on the mattress together. Draco leaned back against the pillows. A heartbeat later Theo leaned back too, shuffling under Draco’s arm and snuggling up to his chest. For a moment they were silent, relishing the comfort of being able to lie freely in each other’s arms.

‘We might need to bring Hermione here,’ Draco said quietly. The Dark Lord’s plans are going to get bad, Theo. Really bad. She’ll be in danger.’ He didn’t mention the snippets of information he’d heard at meetings and from his father. Rumours of Muggle-born questioning, of hunting them down. Of punishing them for ‘stealing’ magic.

Theo was nodding. ‘I know she will. I want her safe as well.’

‘You’ll have to stay with her,’ Draco said sternly. He felt Theo look up at him but ignored his gaze. ‘You’ll be in danger too, Theo,’ he said, his heart wrenching as he did. ‘The Dark Lord will want you eventually. If you and Hermione stay here, out of the way, you’ll both be safe.’

Theo was still watching him, those beautiful blue eyes tender and thoughtful. ‘What about you, Draco?’

Draco closed his eyes. ‘Honestly Theo, knowing that the two of you are safe and together here will be the best thing to get me through the shit that’s going to happen. Please just say you’ll do it.’

‘Of course I will, sweetheart,’ Theo assured him, entwining their fingers together. ‘But you have to come and see us as often as you can. And you know Hermione won’t like it. Are we going to tell her about this before?’

Draco had thought about it, but he knew Hermione too well. ‘No,’ he said. ‘I know she’ll be pissed off, but you’re just going to have to Apparate her here when I say.’

Draco reached up with his other hand, rubbing his forehead. A throbbing pain had started behind his eyes, a stress headache that was becoming more common as the Dark Lord got stronger and Draco got more worried. Theo must have noticed his discomfort because he pulled Draco’s hand away and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Then he cradled Draco’s jaw gently in his hands, and Draco could no longer avoid Theo’s eyes.

‘I know you already have a plan and a code word and you’ll tell me all of it soon enough,’ Theo said, knowing Draco all too well. A slow smile appeared on his face. ‘But how about for now you let me help you relax?’

Without waiting for an answer, Theo climbed over him, caging his head between his hands, and leaned down and pressed his lips against Draco’s. 

OVER THE NEXT few months tensions regarding the war got higher. Hermione, Theo and Draco found they had less and less time to spend together, unable to find the time and the privacy to sneak away. Theo was on edge constantly, always looking over his shoulder or watching for a tell in Draco. Hermione noticed how wound up he was, finally breaking their code of secrecy by cornering him in the library one evening.

‘Theo,’ she said, her voice quiet as they huddled together near the restricted section. ‘Darling, I’m worried about you.’ She reached out a hand, settling it on his forearm. Theo’s eyes darted up, checking that the coast was clear, but the library was quiet. As if sensing an approaching storm, most of the students had taken to returning to their dormitories as soon as dinner was over. He sighed, and she moved closer, reaching up to kiss him. For a few blissful moments, Theo let his worries melt away at the feel of Hermione’s lips against his. He was smiling by the time she slowly pulled away, her hands on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

‘You want to talk about it?’ she asked seriously, but he shook his head. What was there to talk about? She was just as worried about Draco as he was. And she was just as worried about Theo as Theo was about her.

‘Will you come and stay with us tonight?’ he asked instead. She shifted in his arms, her beautiful brown eyes evasive.

‘Theo, I’ve got classes first thing,’ she started, but he silenced her with another kiss. Usually they only went to the Room of Requirement at weekends and when they had a free morning period, but Theo didn’t think he could cope tonight without both Draco and Hermione in his arms.

‘Please?’ he asked, his voice barely a whisper in the quiet of the library. She hesitated only a moment before nodding reluctantly.

‘Just this once.’

The three of them were a mess of tangled limbs and dishevelled hair later that evening in the Room of Requirement when Draco winced and clutched at his arm. Hermione’s face darkened with worry as she turned to him.

‘Draco…’ she started, but he shook his head warningly and pulled away from both of them.

‘Don’t,’ he said, climbing out of bed and starting to get dressed. ‘I have to go.’

Theo and Hermione watched in silence until he was ready. Draco gave them both a pained look.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said, leaning down to kiss Hermione and then Theo. ‘I’ll be okay. I’ll be back before you know it.’

And with that, Draco left the room, wand in hand.

Hermione sighed unhappily and Theo pulled her closer into his body, stroking her wild curls to calm her down.

‘I wish we could do something to help him,’ she burst out angrily, curling her hands into fists at Theo’s chest.

Theo didn’t reply. They both knew war was all but inevitable now. Things for Draco were likely to get much worse before they got any better.

Later that night, Theo awoke with a start, momentarily confused about where he was and what the strange silver glow was. Hermione’s hand clutched at his bicep and he blinked sleepily, his eyes focusing on the glow.

It was a huge shimmering dragon: Draco’s Patronus. It had taken Hermione months of teaching them before Theo and Draco could cast one. The dragon opened its mouth now, and Draco’s voice drifted out.

‘It’s time, Theo. You have to go. Now.’

Theo swore under his breath while Hermione looked at him in confusion.

‘What does he mean?’ she asked, but Theo was already scrambling from the bed, gathering their clothes from the floor. He threw Hermione’s towards her and silently apologised for the lie he was about to tell.

‘Draco needs our help, love,’ he said, trying to inject a sense of calmness into his words. ‘Get dressed quickly, we need to move fast.’

‘Where do we need to go?’ she asked as she changed, and Theo turned his face to the darkness, hoping she wouldn’t see his guilt at keeping the truth from her.

‘Somewhere we can Apparate,’ he said.

She nodded, understanding, and cast a perfect Disillusionment charm, and a Notice-Me-Not as an extra measure. Hand-in-hand they left the Room of Requirement.

The hallways of Hogwarts were quiet, the portraits snoozing, the moon lighting the occasional stretch of stone. They saw no-one, not even Mrs Norris, and for that Theo sent a silent prayer of thanks to whichever god may have been listening.

They left the castle, hurrying over the grounds, and as soon as they crossed the boundary, Theo Apparated them away and to the safe house.

HERMIONE WAS ANGRIER than Theo had ever seen her before. She was so angry her hair was crackling with latent magic. Theo watched her warily, wishing that Draco was here to help calm the storm that was their girlfriend.

He didn’t blame her. He suspected he would have a similar reaction to being practically kidnapped and held captive in a safe house.

‘Hermione, sweetheart, please don’t be mad,’ Theo said, wishing he could just envelope her in a hug instead. He hated it when Hermione was mad at him. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked away, refusing to look at him.

‘Theo, you can’t just take me away from Harry and Ron like that. Not to mention school!’

Theo sighed and sat down in a seat next to the fire. ‘Hermione, Hogwarts is about to become a very unsafe place. And Harry and Ron will cope without you. They’d want you safe too.’

She turned to glare at him, and Theo winced under the furiousness of her eyes. She opened her mouth - probably to shout at him - when a crack of Apparition sounded outside. They both turned to the door as Draco hurried through it, looking more tired and worried than ever. 

‘Thank fuck you’re both here,’ he said, the relief evident in his voice. He swept towards them but faltered when he took one look at Hermione’s face. 

‘Hermione…’ he murmured brokenly, and she scowled at him. 

Draco sighed and walked over to her, reaching out to gently pull her arms away from her chest, taking her hands in his instead.

‘The Death Eaters have infiltrated the Ministry,’ Draco began, his voice serious. ‘They’ve started a Muggle-born Registration Commission. Hermione, the Ministry is about to start hunting down Muggle-borns. You’re not safe anymore. Not even at Hogwarts.’

Hermione’s eyes widened in horror, and she looked from Draco to Theo as if to see if he knew about that. He must have looked as shocked as he felt, however, and Hermione turned back to Draco.

‘That’s terrible,’ she managed, and Draco just nodded. ‘We have to warn people!’

‘If you’ll stay here, where I know you’ll be safe, I’ll go to Dumbledore,’ Draco said, his voice tight.

Hermione either didn’t realise or chose to ignore the compromise he was giving her. ‘I’m not staying here, Draco! You two have no right to make decisions about me, about my life and my safety, without involving me!’ 

Hermione pulled her hands away from his and stormed off to the other side of the house. Draco gave Theo a helpless look, and Theo shrugged. 

‘I think we fucked up,’ Theo said, and Draco sighed and looked away. ‘We should have told her.’

‘I just want to keep her safe,’ Draco replied, his voice tight with exasperation.

Theo moved closer to him, kissing him gently and giving him a brief hug. ‘Let’s go and apologise.’

Hermione had found refuge in the library, where she stood glaring angrily at the books instead of reading any of them. She gave them both a dismissive look and turned her back on them when they walked in. 

‘Hermione,’ Draco said quietly. ‘Sweetheart, look - I’m sorry for keeping this a secret from you. You’re right, it was disrespectful. And please don’t be mad at Theo, he was only doing what I asked.’ 

Hermione’s shoulders relaxed infinitesimally. Draco moved closer, rounding to face her. He carried on speaking.

‘But listen, I’m not sorry for wanting to keep you safe. Hermione, the Dark Lord knows you’re friends with Potter. He’s going to be after you. I will do anything to protect you.’

Theo couldn’t stand the tension in the room anymore, and he moved between Draco and Hermione, still bristling at each other, and took both of their hands.

‘I hate it when we fight,’ he said quietly, and finally Hermione sighed and looked at him. 

‘You’re both idiots, you realise that?’ she said sharply, and Theo and Draco nodded in tandem. Hermione looked away for a moment, clearly considering her options, and Draco squeezed Theo’s hand while they waited. Eventually she turned her brown eyes back to them.

‘I’ll stay here,’ she relented, although her posture was still battle-ready. ‘As long as Theo does too.’

‘Of course I will,’ Theo said. As if he’d ever leave her alone there. 

‘And I want to help. If I can’t be out there, fighting alongside my friends, I need to be useful here. I can make potions for the Order, research, I don’t care. I just have to do _something_.’

Draco nodded. ‘Thank you,’ he whispered, placing one of his hands curling from her jaw to the back of her neck and kissing her.

She’d stay in the safe house, hidden away from the terrible things that were starting to happen in the wizarding world outside.

For them.

For now.

THEO WAS KEEPING himself busy in the kitchen when Draco stumbled through the Floo one day several weeks later, looking even paler than usual. Dishes forgotten in the sink, Theo rushed over to Draco, catching him in his arms before he could fall.

‘Fuck, Draco,’ Theo murmured, holding him close and stroking his hair as he trembled in Theo’s arms. ‘What are they doing to you?’

Draco just sighed and tangled his fists into Theo’s shirt, his head resting against his neck. Theo let him nestle there for a few moments before gently nudging him, walking them to the living room, and settling him on the sofa.

‘Hermione?’ Theo called up to where he knew Hermione had been taking a shower. ‘Draco’s here, love.’

‘Draco?’ Hermione’s voice drifted down the stairs, and a few minutes later she rushed down the stairs, wrapped in a dressing gown, her hair still damp. She took one look at Draco and hurried over, falling to her knees before him on the sofa and taking the hand that wasn’t firmly held in Theo’s into her own.

‘Draco, what happened?’

Draco shook his head. ‘I really don’t want to talk about it,’ he said, his voice firm even as his hands shook. ‘Please don’t make me talk about it. I just didn’t want to be alone tonight.’

Hermione caught Theo’s eye. She looked like she was fighting back tears, but they both knew there wasn’t much they could do. If Draco needed to head back first thing tomorrow, then he couldn’t afford to fall apart tonight.

And if they couldn’t look after Draco emotionally, Theo and Hermione could at least look after him physically. Theo got to his feet, pulling Draco up with him. Draco looked at him with exhausted eyes and Theo cupped his face in his hands, leaning in to look him in the eyes.

‘Hermione and I will look after you, sweetheart,’ Theo promised. Hermione got back to her feet and wrapped her arms around Draco’s middle in a hug, her head pressed against his back. Draco nodded wordlessly and let them lead him up the stairs to the bedroom.

Much later that evening, with Draco nestled naked between them, Theo looked over at Hermione. Draco was fast asleep, curled with his arms thrown around Hermione and his feet pressed against Theo’s shins. In sleep his worried frown had disappeared and he looked years younger. Hermione was still awake, and she smiled sadly and reached over to take Theo’s hand, resting them on Draco’s side. He murmured in his sleep and snuggled closer to Hermione.

‘I hate seeing him like this,’ Theo admitted, and Hermione squeezed his hand in sympathy.

‘Me too,’ she whispered. It was a sign of how truly exhausted Draco was, to be able to sleep through their hushed conversation for once. ‘I wish there was something we could do to help him.’

‘I wish we could just keep him here. The three of us could just hide away, ride out the war and stay safe.’

If Theo hadn’t chosen that moment to sigh and fall back onto the pillows, maybe there would have been a clue in Hermione’s eyes as to what she was really thinking. As it was, there was a pause before she replied.

‘If only we could bring this stupid war to a quicker end somehow.’

Theo hummed quietly in vague agreement, sleep slowly taking over him. Shifting closer to Draco and holding him close to his chest, with Hermione’s fingers still entwined with his, Theo fell asleep.

THEO WOKE A few days later aching pleasantly. He’d slept wonderfully, much deeper than usual, and felt rested and relaxed. Last night had been a particularly memorable one, and he smiled as he thought back to the sight of Hermione in his arms, her head thrown back in pleasure as she came apart beneath him.

He stretched out, considering getting up and making them breakfast, but his arms just met more bedclothes. He sat up so quick his head throbbed, and looked around as alarm started to trickle through his body.

‘Hermione?’ he called out, but only the silence of the safe house echoed back to him. Scrabbling to get out of bed, Theo pulled on a pair of joggers and tore through the house, checking for Hermione. 

She was nowhere to be found.

Just when he was about to run out into the field beyond the house, a pale sheet of parchment caught his attention on the kitchen table, next to an empty bottle of Dreamless Sleep. 

His tears started to fall before he’d finished reading.

THEO LAID LOW in Draco’s rooms for two days after Hermione disappeared in the dead of night leaving only a letter behind, full of apologies and love, to keep them company. He knew Draco didn’t blame him for losing her, but Theo still blamed himself. He should have noticed that she was quieter than usual, should have heard her moving around that night. Should have tasted the Dreamless Sleep she’d put in his drink. He’d come straight to Draco when he found the note, and the two of them had curled around each other that night and not slept.

They wouldn’t be able to find Hermione, not when she didn’t want to be found, but that wasn’t going to stop Theo from trying. Draco couldn’t leave, not with the Dark Lord breathing down his neck, but Theo could. They’d already packed up what they could and were waiting for nightfall so he could slip out of the Manor when Draco winced and favoured his forearm.

‘You’re being summoned?’ Theo asked, unnecessarily. Draco’s eyes were tight when he looked at him, and Theo sighed and snaked his hand around the back of Draco’s neck, pulling their foreheads together. ‘I’ll come with you,’ he whispered. Draco shook his head and kissed his cheek.

‘Absolutely not,’ he said. ‘I don’t want any of the Death Eaters, let alone the Dark Lord, to see you around here.’

Draco stood up, and Theo mirrored his actions. If this was going to be their last night together for a while, then he was damn well not leaving Draco’s side. Draco glared at him for a few moments, then his entire body seemed to droop as he relented.

‘Stay at the back and stay quiet,’ Draco said seriously, and Theo nodded.

The walk from Draco’s wing to the dining room that the Dark Lord liked to use when he was in residence felt longer than usual. Draco was silent the entire way, his whole body tense in a way that made Theo want to drag him away from this terrible place, find Hermione, and take them all somewhere safe.

They reached the dining room door. Draco straightened his shoulders, and when he looked over at Theo, his eyes were cold and clear: his Occlumency walls were locked in place. Theo smiled sadly at him, drew up his own Occlumency walls, and followed Draco into the room when Draco threw the door open.

The Dark Lord was sprawled in a chair at the head of the table, playing idly with his wand. Theo averted his eyes and slipped behind the small crowd of people - supporters of the Dark Lord who had not yet taken the Mark - towards the back of the room. Only Marked Death Eaters were allowed to sit at the table with the Dark Lord. Draco took a seat next to Dark Lord, beside his father, his head held high. On the Dark Lord’s other side sat Draco’s crazy Aunt Bellatrix.

‘The Snatchers have promised us a fun night,’ the Dark Lord announced to the waiting crowd of wizards, his voice low and sibilant. Bellatrix cackled loudly, and the Dark Lord clapped his hands together. ‘Bring in the prize!’

At his words, the drawing room doors crashed open, and a pair of Snatchers dragged in a third person between them, kicking and fighting as they did. With a nasty snarl one of them slapped the girl, hard, and then threw her to the ground. Theo felt his stomach constrict and his heart stutter in his chest as he recognised the curly, brown hair and the fiery, determined eyes.

Hermione was shaking as she lay on the floor, slightly curled up as if to protect herself. Theo felt himself move unconsciously, his instincts telling him to go to her, to gather her in his arms and get them the fuck out of there. Before he could take a step forward, a strange haze came down over his eyes, and he felt his body freeze in place.

The Dark Lord stood from the table, a delighted smile on his face as he looked down to where Hermione lay. She ignored him, her eyes instead flickering around the room and stopping when they reached Theo’s. Her brown eyes locked onto his, but he could do nothing.

Draco shifted in his chair next to the Dark Lord, and Hermione’s eyes snapped across to him instead.

Theo tried to move again, but couldn’t. He looked over at Draco suspiciously. Draco was studiously ignoring Theo, watching the Dark Lord instead, but Theo knew what was happening. Draco had cast an Imperius on him, an impressive piece of difficult magic to perform with no-one noticing. Draco was locking Theo in place, keeping him from Hermione.

In his head Theo snarled, but he felt a little bit of relief. This meant Draco had a plan, at least. He just hoped it was a good one.

The Dark Lord stood up and stepped forward, walking slowly around Hermione’s prone body.

‘Well, well. Potter’s Mudblood herself. Not that he’s wanted you around recently. You proved yourself a coward after all, running off and hiding to try and save your own skin.’

A wave of sniggers rippled through the room. It was no secret to the assembled Death Eaters that Hermione Granger had not been seen with the Boy Who Lived for many months now. She had no secrets, no intelligence. She was no use to them.

The Dark Lord looked up now, glancing around at his followers. Theo shivered inside as the cold eyes swept over his.

‘She’ll serve as after-dinner entertainment for us, at least,’ the Dark Lord laughed as he turned his back on her and faced Draco. ‘Draco, my boy. You can go first. You can finally show the Mudblood her rightful place.’

Draco held the Dark Lord’s gaze and a small, malicious smile appeared on his face as he stood from the table. Giving the Dark Lord a small bow, Draco pulled out his wand and stalked towards Hermione, the room of Death Eaters watching with bated breath.

Theo tried to move again, the curl of anxiety in his stomach tightening uncomfortably. He wished he could use Legilimency right now, but the Imperius blocked him from casting it. There was nothing he could do to delve into Draco’s mind, and his eyes gave nothing away, a blank space where Draco’s emotions should be.

Draco knelt down next to Hermione. Her face was streaked with tears, her beautiful hair tangled and knotted from her mistreatment at the hand of the Snatchers. Her eyes were trained on Draco, big and brown and trusting even as he gripped her chin in his hand, forcing her to look up at him.

There was a moment between them, as Draco stared at her, his face hard. Then Hermione’s eyes flickered over to Theo’s briefly, and he watched in helpless silence as they softened the same way they did when she told him she loved him. Hermione looked back at Draco, and in a quick movement he placed his wand against her forehead. He muttered a spell. A flash of green erupted from his wand, and Hermione’s eyes went blank.

 _NO_! Theo screamed inside, his heart clenching, his breath catching in his throat. He fought to move, to rage, to scream, to throw himself at Draco and beat him bloody, to pull Hermione away from this terrible place. To _do_ something.

But Draco’s Imperius held firm.

Theo was frozen in place as half the Death Eaters started to laugh and the other half started to mutter angrily amongst themselves. Draco stood from Hermione’s body and turned back to the Dark Lord, his eyes still cold and empty.

To Theo’s surprise, the Dark Lord laughed.

‘Forgive me, my lord,’ Draco said to him, his voice utterly calm, bowing again. ‘But I have waited nearly a decade to do that. I didn’t want anyone else to steal the chance from me.’

‘The Malfoys are never ones to be denied their revenge, it seems,’ the Dark Lord mused, holding his hands up to his followers. ‘Looks like you’ll have to find other ways to amuse yourselves this evening.’

With that, the Dark Lord waved Draco away and snapped his fingers for a house elf to come and take away Hermione’s body. The assembled Death Eaters started to pour themselves more wine and Firewhisky, the noise in the hall getting louder and louder, and Draco sheathed his wand and turned from the group, walking quickly over to the door.

Theo was Imperiused to follow him, his footsteps trailing behind Draco even as his lungs constricted and his stomach roiled. They made their way up the grand staircase and to Draco’s wing of the Manor, not stopping until they reached his bedroom. 

All the way Theo’s trapped mind was racing. He felt fuzzy, as if he were in the middle of a nightmare, but the horror and heaviness of his heart let him know this was all too real. In his thoughts he could see Hermione’s face, the warmth of her eyes as she smiled at him, the feel of her skin against his. The sound of her laugh when he cracked a terrible joke.

All gone. Forever. 

He’d never feel her hand in his again. Never see her eyes as they opened sleepily in the morning. Never again hold her in his arms. 

Beneath the Imperius, Theo was howling with grief.

Theo stood silently in the middle of the room as Draco cast locking and silencing and repelling wards around them.

Draco turned to Theo, and with a small wave of his hand the Imperius on Theo finally dropped.

Theo was punching Draco in the jaw before he was even fully aware of his control over his own body again. He gasped desperately for air as tears flooded his eyes and his heart finally broke in two.

Draco staggered back under Theo’s blow, nursing his jaw as he turned back to him. He’d finally dropped his Occlumency, and his silver eyes were glazed and filled with pain, his hands trembling.

‘You bastard,’ Theo hissed, as the tears fell. ‘What the fuck…. Draco, _why_?’

Draco reached out for him, his own cheeks wet with tears, and Theo pushed him away.

‘Don’t you fucking touch me,’ Theo warned.

‘Theo, please, you don’t…. you don’t understand,’ Draco begged as he struggled to breathe. ‘They would have tortured her, raped her. She was never going to get out of that room alive.’

‘ _We_ could have gotten her away,’ Theo argued, stepping backwards, needing to put as much physical space between him and Draco as he could. Draco tried to step forward again and Theo whipped out his wand, aiming it squarely at Draco’s chest. ‘We could have saved her.’

Draco held his hands up in surrender, staying in place as Theo paced around him, pausing beside the fireplace.

‘Theo,’ Draco tried again, his eyes haunted. ‘Theo, please…’

‘If I ever see you again,’ Theo replied, his voice low and more dangerous than he had ever sounded before. ‘I will kill you.’

Theo grabbed a handful of Floo powder and stepped into the fireplace in one swift movement. He called out for Diagon Alley before Draco was even able to take a single step towards him, and as the green flames engulfed Theo and whipped him away, the last thing he saw was Draco’s anguished eyes and his hand reaching out desperately for him.

THEO WENT TO the Order, and told them half the truth. That he and Hermione had been in love, that he had watched Draco Malfoy kill her, that he would do whatever it took to bring Voldemort and his regime to its knees. He submitted carefully selected memories to Harry Potter himself, who watched them alone that same evening and emerged from the room with the Pensieve several hours later, his green eyes red-rimmed and bloodshot.

Theo even made the Unbreakable Vow. Ron Weasley, heartbroken and distrustful, made Theo promise that he would kill Draco himself if he was ever given the opportunity. Harry acted as their Bonder, his eyes haunted in the gloom of the evening as the three of them huddled in the attic of Grimmauld Place where no one could stumble across them.

And of course, Theo kept track of Draco. Through the Daily Prophet, the Wizarding Wireless Network and the intelligence reports that came in day after day from different Order members, he knew that Draco had risen in the Death Eater ranks and was now one of Voldemort’s most trusted lieutenants. He was renowned for his ruthlessness, his coldness.

As an Order member, coming face to face with Draco meant coming face to face with death. He cast the Avada as if it were a simple stunning spell, never struggling, with as much ease and iciness as when he had killed Hermione. He never tortured, never interrogated. He was a wolf rather than a cat, going straight for the jugular rather than playing with his food.

Theo watched and waited and hated deep in his heart. And above everything else, he was desperately, heartbreakingly lonely.

He missed Hermione, her quick wit and her warm smile and the love that sparkled in her eyes when she looked at him. He missed Draco, the Draco he _thought_ he knew, the one that would never betray him or murder innocent people in cold blood. He missed the way he’d stroke Theo’s hair and murmur affectionate nonsense to him as he fell asleep. He missed the way Draco would wrap his arms around Theo and Hermione both, binding the three of them together. He missed watching Draco and Hermione curl up in an armchair reading the same book together. He missed the warmth of sharing his bed with the two people he loved.

But still he watched and waited and hated.

One day, Harry Potter died.

The Boy Who Lived had been out on mysterious missions with Weasley, and Theo may not have been in the upper circle, but from what he could tell, even they didn’t know what the two had been hunting.

Potter and Weasley ended up at Hogwarts, running around the castle for some reason, and had been caught and dragged before Voldemort. Rumour had it that Harry had not uttered a single word under torture, but had broken the minute they used the Cruciatus curse on Weasley instead. It had done them no good: both were killed by the Dark Lord himself.

The Order had to reassemble. The safe houses were no longer safe, their entire operation was in jeopardy, and Theo was the only one with dry eyes when they packed up everything and moved to new locations.

A few more Hogwarts students joined them after that, Longbottom and Lovegood, Finnegan and Thomas. Even, to Theo’s surprise, Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson. These last two were treated with both a little more and a little less suspicion than Theo had been upon first joining. Neither of them had been Death Eaters or in Voldemort’s circle, but then neither of them had been head over heels in love with the Order’s Golden Girl and watched her be murdered by his best friend.

And so Theo watched and waited and hated. 

THEO EVENTUALLY WENT into battle with the Order, when he was certain Draco would be fighting against them. Remus Lupin hadn’t wanted to allow Theo to come along, but with urging from Tonks and the steely look in Theo’s eyes, he had eventually relented.

It was spite and vengeance that kept Theo alive through the battle. He barely duelled any of the other Death Eaters, throwing up a strong Protego and letting the other Order members fight around him. Instead Theo was focused on the silver eyes and white-blond hair on the other side of the battlefield.

Pushing onwards, his jaw tense and his Protego never wavering, Theo watched with satisfaction when Draco finally looked up and faltered as he approached.

Draco’s hesitation was his undoing. As his wand hand lowered fractionally and his mouth started to form the syllables of Theo’s name, Theo dropped his Protego and, unhesitating, cast a curse that Harry had taught them all to use when faced with certain death.

‘Sectumsempra!’

Draco looked down at himself in surprise. As he raised his head to look back up at Theo, he collapsed to the ground.

Draco’s Occlumency shields had faltered with the shock of the injury, and the look in his eyes hit Theo like a bludger to the heart. They reminded him of long hours talking, of nights spent in passionate desire, of trust and friendship and adoration. They were the eyes of the Draco he knew and loved.

Theo was by his side in an instant. The spell had done its damage. Draco’s torso and neck were slashed open, rivers of red blood running from him onto the dark ground. Theo bundled Draco in his arms, unable to stop the tears that flowed down his cheeks.

‘Oh, fuck, Draco,’ Theo muttered, shaking his head. ‘I – what have I done? Tell me how to fix it!’

He was rambling, desperate, his voice hoarse. So ardently he had wished Draco dead for what he did, but now he was dying in his arms, Theo was heartbroken all over again. It had been hell on earth without Hermione, away from Draco, but with them both well and truly gone, how would he cope? How _could_ he cope, alone in the world?

On the ground, pale and gasping, Draco shook his head.

‘It’s – too late, Theo,’ he managed to say. One of Theo’s tears dripped onto Draco’s face as he pulled him closer.

‘No, no, no. I can’t lose you too, Draco. I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry.’

‘Theo – here, you have to take this.’ Draco was fumbling inside his robe, wincing as his broken body bled out, pulling free a small, glass vial. Theo was weeping openly as Draco pressed it into his hand.

‘Draco, please don’t leave me,’ Theo begged through hiccoughs. ‘I can’t do this alone. Stay with me. _Please_.’

‘Look at me, Theo.’ Draco’s voice had stopped shaking, but it was both firmer and weaker than Theo had ever heard it before. When Theo opened his eyes and blinked away his tears, Draco already looked like a ghost. His skin was so pale it was almost translucent, his eyes quickly fading. ‘I love you, Theo,’ he said simply, raising a hand to trail limply along Theo’s cheek. Theo reached up and placed his hand over Draco’s, keeping his hand in place. ‘I never stopped loving you.’

And with that, Draco Malfoy died in Theo Nott’s arms.

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM AND Luna Lovegood were the ones to pry Theo away from Draco’s body, and drag him back to the safehouse. From there Pansy and Blaise looked after him. They’d all been in Slytherin together; they were among the few who knew the truth of Theo and Draco’s relationship. Pansy made Theo herbal tea, tucked him into bed and left him to get some sleep.

It was dark when Theo jolted awake, his heart racing. For a moment he lay there in the darkness, his breathing erratic, as he gradually became aware of being cold and alone in bed.

Was it all just another terrible nightmare?

With a trembling hand, Theo reached out but found the bed empty.

Of course, he was still alone. What had he expected? He’d been alone for months now. He had been lucky enough to find love twice, and now he’d lost both of them.

With a sob, Theo curled in on himself and shut his eyes tight against the dark.

HE WOKE AGAIN when it was light. A fresh cup of tea and a stack of toast sat on the rickety bedside table. Next to it stood the unassuming glass vial Draco had handed to Theo just before he died. Now Theo saw it in the light, and the pearly luminescence of the viscous liquid within was familiar.

They were memories.

The last thing Draco had done with his life was to hand Theo a vial of his memories.

Reaching out as if in a dream, Theo took the glass bottle in his hand. There was a Pensieve somewhere here, he knew it. Potter had one back at Grimmauld Place, he’d looked at Theo’s own memories in it, and Theo knew the Order had brought it with them.

Suddenly energised, Theo pushed himself out of bed, pulling on an old, green, cashmere jumper over his pyjamas. He realised as he pulled it down that it had once been Draco’s. He could still smell a little bit of Draco on the soft fibres, woodsmoke and cardamom, as well as a small, lingering trace of Hermione’s jasmine perfume. Briefly he considered tearing it off again, but Theo’s heart ached at the comforting, familiar scent. In a strange way, it made him feel a little less alone. Clutching the vial in his hands, he went to explore the house.

It didn’t take him long to find the Pensieve, hidden away in a dusty storeroom. Theo stood before it, a lump in his throat. Draco was dead, by Theo’s own hand, and no memory would ever bring him back. Was he really sure he could cope with what he might see?

He wondered only a moment, knowing full well that he couldn’t refuse Draco’s last gift to him. He took a deep breath, lowered his head, and dived into Draco’s memories.

The first memory was short. 

Draco was standing in front of a mirror, his hands braced against the sink, looking up into the silver surface. He looked terrible, his eyes violet-bruised from heartache and lack of sleep. Theo could tell this was a recent memory, from after Hermione’s death and Theo’s abandonment. Draco made eye contact with his reflection.

‘Theo,’ he said, quietly. Theo frowned. ‘Theo, I hope to Merlin you get this. First of all, you have to listen to me – the Order is _so_ close. So fucking close you wouldn’t believe. You need to tell them to kill the snake, okay? Kill the snake, and you can kill _him_.’

Draco’s reflected eyes saddened then, and he shook his head slightly.

‘I’m so sorry - ’ he broke eye contact with his reflection, choking down a sob. Theo winced. It was painful watching Draco without his Occlumency shields up. Draco looked back up. ‘I’m so sorry for everything, Theo. I lo - ’

Draco was cut off mid-sentence, his eyes darting from his reflection to the door behind him. A loud crash and his name being shouted echoed in the memory.

‘Shit,’ hissed Draco, and the memory around Theo dissipated and flowed into another memory.

The second memory was longer. 

Draco was in a room full of Death Eaters, looking off to the side and breathing carefully. His eyes were as blank as Theo had ever seen them, and he knew that Draco was working hard - very hard - on maintaining his Occlumency. The Death Eaters were gathered around something on the ground, their voices jubilant. In the middle of them a bloody, broken girl sobbed.

‘Malfoy, you want a go?’

Theo saw Draco focus his eyes, and look into Dolohov’s grinning face when he appeared before him. The other Death Eater jerked his head in the direction of the girl on the floor behind him. Draco kept his eyes trained on Dolohov and shook his head, taking a deep breath through his nose as if to stop from being sick.

Dolohov laughed and twirled his wand between his fingers, turning back to the girl and killing her with a casual Avada Kedavra. Dolohov and the other Death Eaters made their way out of the drawing room, laughing and joking and jostling each other like they hadn’t just tortured and raped an innocent girl. Theo felt sick to his stomach, and realised he was picking up on Draco’s memory feelings as well as his own from what he was watching.

When the noise died away and Draco was alone, he turned to the girl’s body. Already there was a house elf beside her, ready to take her away, but Draco stopped him with a gentle hand on his shoulder.

‘Let me,’ he commanded quietly, and the house elf stood back obediently. Draco knelt beside the girl and took her hand in his. He looked down at the solemn elf, holding out his other hand. ‘Take us to my drawing room.’ The tiny elf did as he was told.

Theo was pulled along too, landing in Draco’s drawing room with them. Draco cast a series of repelling and locking wards on the room before using an Engorgio on a coffee table so he could lay the girl’s body out on it. His hand was trembling as he closed her blank blue eyes.

Theo watched in silence as Draco summoned pails of water and washcloths to him, vanished the girl’s ragged and torn clothing, and set about cleaning her. Without using magic, Draco repeatedly dampened the cloths in the water, gently washing her blood-streaked limbs until her skin was clean once more.

Theo knew her, this girl. Amanda Monroe. She was – had been – a Ravenclaw. The only other Muggle-born witch aside from Hermione in their year. Theo could only guess that Snatchers had captured her, and that the Dark Lord had _given_ her to his Death Eaters. Theo felt a rush of nausea tear through him and he turned and vomited on the floor, his stomach heaving. 

This was what Draco had been talking about, the night he’d killed Hermione. This was the fate that had awaited her.

In the dream, oblivious, Draco brushed Amanda’s long, dark hair, gently easing out the knots. He dried off her body. He took one of the clean towels and laid it over her, and with a twist of his wand, he transfigured it into a long, blue funeral robe that encased her body and trailed down off the table.

Draco called for a house elf, and the same one as before appeared back by his side.

‘Take her,’ Draco commanded, and the elf placed his tiny hand on Amanda’s forearm and snapped them both away, leaving the bowls of bloody water and the stained washcloths behind.

Draco placed his hands on the table, leaning heavily on them as his head bowed and his eyes closed. When he opened them again, Theo recognised the look in them, and knew that after this Draco had come to the safe house that night to seek solace with Theo and Hermione. 

The third memory was the worst.

Hermione lay sprawled on the floor of Malfoy Manor, a crowd of Death Eaters and a maniacally grinning Dark Lord in front of her.

Theo did not want to be here again.

He went to move away, to pull out of the memory, but he paused unhappily as Hermione looked up at Draco. She looked as beautiful as he remembered, her brown eyes limpid, full of trust. Theo gulped uncomfortably, feeling his heart constrict as Draco knelt down before her, and he braced himself for what came next.

He didn’t expect to hear Draco’s voice in his head, however, and it took him a moment to realise that he was hearing Draco use Legilimency on Hermione.

 _Hermione, sweetheart_ , Draco was thinking now, his voice desperate, gripping her chin in his hand. _Why are you here?_

In his hands, she blinked sadly and seemed to droop.

 _I’m so sorry_ , she thought weakly, using Legilimency in return. _I know it was stupid, I just… I wanted the war to end so we could all be together._

Draco’s eyes closed in pain. Hermione’s eyes softened as she watched him.

 _Draco_. Her voice in his head was trembling but brave. _You know what you have to do. Please. Don’t let them hurt me?_

Draco took a deep breath. Hermione’s eyes flickered over to where Memory-Theo stood, and Theo looked over at himself for the first time. Frozen in place, his eyes wide in horror.

 _I’ll never let anyone hurt you, Hermione_ , Draco thought, his voice fierce but gentle. Hermione smiled at Theo and turned her head back to Draco.

 _Make it convincing_ , she said firmly. _You have to protect Theo. No one can suspect either of you._

Draco’s hand on Hermione’s chin tightened and he placed the tip of his wand to Hermione’s forehead. She looked up at him.

_I love you, Draco._

_I love you, Hermione._

A muttered spell. A flash of green. A heart broken all over again.

THEO’S THROAT HURT like he’d swallowed a whole jar of Knarl quills by the time he’d finished crying. Finally, his body felt drained of tears and energy, and with red-rimmed eyes and a heavy heart, he went to find Remus Lupin to pass on the message from Draco. Lupin listened to his words with hollow eyes, his skin pale, but he nodded and thanked Theo quietly and dismissed him again.

Theo was little more than a ghost haunting the safe house after that. He kept to his lonely room, lying listless in bed and only eating when Pansy and Blaise forced him to. They kept him updated on the progress the Order was making, and one day they burst into his room, both talking at the same time until Pansy shushed Blaise.

‘He’s dead, Theo. The Dark Lord is dead!’

Theo’s eyes barely flickered. Blaise and Pansy were holding hands, their knuckles white.

‘The war is over, Theo,’ Blaise said, his voice gentle. ‘Longbottom killed that snake of his with a great, silver sword, and then Lupin and Tonks finished off Voldemort. It’s over. We made it.’

Blaise reached over to take Theo’s hand, and Pansy gently pushed back his dishevelled hair from his forehead.

‘Why don’t you come down for some tea, darling?’ she asked him, her voice coloured with concern. Theo finally shifted, pulling his hand away from Blaise and tearing his gaze from them up to the ceiling.

‘Tomorrow,’ he said quietly, and they nodded and left him.

Under the glow of the waning moon, Theo crept out of the safe house that night while the victorious Order celebrated with Firewhisky and war stories and toasts to the glorious dead.

Clutching his cloak around him and his wand in his hand, Theo Apparated to the safe house. He landed in the field outside, the house standing before him. He hadn’t been back since Hermione had left. 

The grass was dark at his feet, the sky above cold and clear, the house and the field as empty and desolate as he felt.

Theo had never cast an Unforgivable Curse before. It was Draco who had done terrible things in a vain effort to protect them, after all. But Theo knew how it worked.

‘You have to mean it, Theo,’ he whispered to himself, his hand trembling as he gripped his wand.

He looked up to the stars.

He raised the tip of his wand to his temple.

He thought of Hermione’s warm smile and Draco’s arms around him.

He imagined being with them once again.

He closed his eyes.

‘ _Avada Kedavra_.’


End file.
